Sunday, April 13, 2014

the learning gap

Sometimes I have these moments where I forget that you aren't in my life anymore. I'll see something that reminds me of you or brings back memories from something we experienced together, and I'll reach for the phone to call you, or open up a new e-mail to tell you about it. Sometimes I get as far as hearing the phone ring before remembering you, on the other end of the line, aren't really there anymore.

I'm not sure why I forget, but when I suddenly remember, it's like my heart breaks open all over again. You've left this unbelievably huge void and I just can't seem to understand how I didn't become a part of you, too.

No amount of education will ever help me comprehend why you left without even really saying goodbye. I thought "I promise I'm not going to leave this time, I want to spend my life with you" meant forever, but maybe I've had my definitions wrong this whole time.

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