insomnia

Fuck.
I miss you so much.

You are still in my dreams
(which haven't quite caught up to reality,
since there we are in love) --
but lately
I fear closing my eyes
to find you've disappeared.

I don't want to
be alone
awake
and
asleep.

Being without you,
my eyes open,
is hard
enough.


Today the air smelled like
that first August night
when you leaned in
unexpectedly
and changed my life.

They say smell
is the strongest form of memory,
but I'm so afraid
you've forgotten.


I would give anything
to feel your warm skin
as it promises me
everything will be
okay.